A favorite client of mine told me about this idea in psychology called ‘Lost Possible Selves’.
Those are the selves you could have been but weren’t. The lives you could have led but didn’t — the people you didn’t marry, the jobs you didn’t take, the children you didn’t have.
The idea is that as you age, your happiness and sense of serenity comes down to your relationship to these selves you might have been. Are you at peace with your choices and the places those choices took you? Are you grieving over the possible selves you lost? Coming to a resolution is a big part of what it means to not only be emotionally mature, but also to feel free.
I so agree with all of this. Time to read more Tracy McMillan!